...To Alcohol (if you're legal, of course)
The smart-est set, well they always seem to have a drink in their hand, don't they. Rule of thumb - Carry a flask, Poor Girls. Never spend a dime on drinks while you're out. Stash your moonshine in your garter belt or bra. Frankly, I opt for the former since my chest is less like Christina Hendrick's and more like a 3rd grader's. My friend Shawna, who recently got laid off and hasn't been able to find steady work, is never spotted without her shiny little friend. That damn flask is like Visa, it's everywhere she wants to be. Ask the barkeep for a cup of soda. Tonic. Whatever you fancy. Covertly splash in your contraband...and BOOM! Insta-cocktail.
If we do the math - and it's never been my strong suit - but if we do it, with even modest estimates we find you could save approximately $624 over the course of a year (that could be a lot of trips to your favorite cheap-o vintage shop on Bedford, or you know, a lot of extra hot water to shower with in the mornings). And that's estimating 2 drinks a week at $6 a pop; but please you all know you drink more than that if even just to temper the sting of your cold, poor despair. That is before you stumbled upon this humble blog, of course. Bottoms up!